I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Randomize