My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
