Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
