i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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