Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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