I will die if light touches me.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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