can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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