; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
