The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
