That's intense
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I have post one night stand depression
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