Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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