Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
