i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Of course I have a pirate flag
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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