So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
