BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize