is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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