my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
