Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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