A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
