if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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