Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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