it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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