what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
