i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
