you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
