Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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