apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
