i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
