do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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