didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Randomize
