Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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