Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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