I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
