Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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