can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
