Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
