There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
