Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
