I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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