My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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