Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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