Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
