I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
