Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
