But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
