I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
