I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
