You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize