Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
