I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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