No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
