We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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