I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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