I feel like I'm in dance class right now
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
