I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
