Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
