you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize