I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize