Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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