If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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