Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
