Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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