I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
