Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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