I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
