I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
