you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
