i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
then he tried to convert me to islam
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
