3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
