btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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