And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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