you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
