I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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