By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
