At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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