My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
