dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
