I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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