it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
