who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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