He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
