my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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