she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Randomize
